Terms of Endearment #16

Turtle (v.) - to curl up and cover your head in an attempt to avoid being pummeled by another player.

Generally, this is looked upon as wimpy. Hockey's a tough sport and the players take pride in their ability to take punishment. However, some of the more skilled superstars are accustomed to being protected by their teammates and may be a little less tough.

It's hard for me to blame a guy for trying to protect his face and head from some other big, strong hockey player, especially if the person doing the pummeling is quite a bit bigger. I would do the same thing. However, I have felt embarrassment when I caught a guy on our team turtling. I was like, really, dude? Really?

Terms of Endearment #15

fan - (v.) to miss the puck when trying to hit it.

It's bound to happen, especially if you're not looking at the puck when you're swinging your stick. It must be embarrassing in front of eighteen thousand people and TV cameras broadcasting your mistake to millions of viewers. I can sympathize. Once I took golf lessons.

It was very frustrating. At the driving range, I can't tell you how many times I missed the ball completely, or caught a bit of it and made it go a full foot. Any distance that ball went at all was a success for me.

Go ahead and laugh.

Photo credit: Gabriele Delhey via Wikimedia Commons

Terms of Endearment #14

The room - (n.) The locker/dressing room.

Players often talk about the room.

"It's good to have veteran guys like that in the room."

"He's a big presence in the room."

"We don't really talk about that stuff in the room."

The room is referenced a lot in interviews. The room is obviously an important place. It's the inner sanctum for the players. A lot of stuff gets said in there, the real stuff, the gritty stuff, the stuff that's not camera-ready or politically correct.

I really hope I can bring my readers into the room with my players, the San Diego Barracudas. One my goals with the IN THE ZONE series is to zero in on a side of hockey that the fans don't normally see. Sure, it's fiction and I'm taking liberties and probably getting a lot of stuff wrong, but one day I may actually get a look at the Kings' locker room, and at least soak in the non-human details.

Personally, I love when the TV cameras go in "the room." I often ignore the players completely and focus on what's behind him. I'm studying the pads, where the hooks are, all the details.

One time, I saw Anze Kopitar nonchalantly hang his cup up on a hook behind him while a reporter was asking a question. Being a woman, I was like, "Wow, that's what a cup looks like." Being an LA Kings fan, I was like, "OMG. THAT'S ANZE KOPITAR'S CUP!" Being a smutty romance writer, I was like, "Since they're only filming him from the chest up, does that mean he hasn't got pants on?"

Terms of Endearment #12

Stick tap - (n.) the hockey equivalent to applause.

The most recent stick-tap I can remember was in Saturday's game where someone got into a fight and the players on the bench tapped their sticks when the refs broke it up. They tapped, not because the fight was over, but because their teammate had stood up for himself and for his teammate, who had suffered what the fighter perceived as a not cool body check.

In a way, fighting could be considered hockey chivalry. You defend the honor of your comrade. It's the code. It's part of why I love hockey. The video is not of a stick tap, but more of the retaliatory fight. Sorry. I couldn't find a video of a stick tap.

Terms of Endearment #11

Top six player - (n.) a consistently excellent offensive player. In general, teams have four lines of players suited up for games with three offensive players on each line. The top two lines are generally considered the most effective.

Here is the projected line-up for the LA kings for the October 3, 2013 game against Minnesota as seen by MayorsManor.com. With the exception of Matt Frattin, a new guy we haven't seen much of yet, those are the guys you'll see most of the season. But lines are fluid. Things change even within a period. It's always fun to see who is put on the ice with whom.

Dustin Brown – Anze Kopitar – Justin Williams
Matt Frattin – Mike Richards – Jeff Carter
Dwight King – Jarret Stoll – Trevor Lewis
Kyle Clifford – Colin Fraser – Jordan Nolan

Robyn Regehr – Drew Doughty
Willie Mitchell – Slava Voynov
Jake Muzzin – Matt Greene

Jonathan Quick
Ben Scrivens

Three healthy scratches:
- Dan Carcillo, Keaton Ellerby, Alec Martinez

Previous Terms of Endearment: 1) carryover, 2) shift, 3) blueliner, 4) dust-up, 5) drop pass, 6)  shortie, 7) deke, 8) empty netter, 9) light the lamp, 10) leaner

Terms of Endearment #10

Leaner - (n.) Filling a trash can or similar container with water, leaning it up against the door of a teammate's hotel room, knocking, and running for the hills.

Hockey players can be nothing more than little boys with facial hair. This is something I really adore, if you want to know the truth. In this hockey series I'm writing, you will see many examples of this. Some might look at this type of behavior as immature. Sure it is. No argument there. But I also think it's funny as hell. I love practical jokes.

So do Los Angeles Kings players, Dustin Penner and Mike Richards. Dustin is a very funny man. He has no problem laughing at himself, as is evident from the following Twitter conversation he had with Richards.

Penner posted this picture and tweeted: Do not try and steam clean your dress shirt w/out making sure the shower/tub combo drain is open. #housekeeping.

Richards: @DustinPenner25 ever hear of an iron?

Penner: @MRichie_10 Stay out of this Rick! This is between me and the tub. Also don't open your door #leaner

Richards: @DustinPenner25 I actually just walked out of my room and the water has made its way in front of my door. Leaner not needed.

I. Love. This.

I hope readers like it too because this is exactly the kind of manly stuff I'm trying to show in my books. I hope it shows the friendship and camaraderie between the teammates, their senses of humor, their humility, their sense of fun.

Terms of Endearment #9

Light the lamp - (v.) To score a goal.

There's a red light that goes on when a goal is scored. Sometimes it rotates, like the light on top of an ambulance.

Photo by Burns! (cc)

Terms of Endearment #8

Empty-netter - (n.) a goal scored when the goalie is on the bench.

You non-hockey fans out there might be thinking, what the heck? When is the goalie not there in front of the net, blocking the puck like Wonder Woman does bullets?

Sometimes when a team is losing at the end of the third period, in a last ditch effort, the coach pulls the goalie, which allows them to put one more man on the ice to score a goal for a six on five advantage. However, sometimes they lose control of the puck and the team in the lead scores.

When the Kings get an empty netter, sometimes I feel fierce, "In your face!!!" And sometimes, I feel a little bad for the losers. Most of the time, I'm just glad they won. I would love to see them win the Stanley Cup again.

Terms of Endearment #6

I love the LA Kings Insider, Jon Rosen. He maintains a blog about the Kings. Here's a blurb about it.

LAKingsInsider.com provides in-depth, independent coverage of the Los Angeles Kings. Its content and reader comments are not subject to approval or review by team personnel.

I read it daily to get the latest about my team--how they did, how they're doing, how they might be doing in the near future. This morning, I learned a new term from a fan comment.

"...great block by Stoll, which lead to Lewis's shortie..."

Shortie - (n.) A goal made when your team has less men on the ice than the opposing team, due to one or more players in the penalty box.

And it truly was an exciting goal. Playing with four against five, Stoll took it upon himself to block a shot by the Avalanche with his body. He just threw himself down on the ice and bodily stopped the puck from getting past--without all that goalie protective gear! (Crazy!) Someone else, I think, picked up the puck and a couple seconds later Lewis (left) scored.

It was awesome.

Terms of Endearment #5

Drop Pass (n.) - Passing the puck to a teammate who is behind you.

I love when they do this. It's so smooth, it's almost like magic sleight of hand, except it's sleight of stick.

P.S. The Kings won last night against Edmonton, 3-1. Ha! Tonight, there's another game against Calgary. Go, Kings, go!!!!!

Photo by SomeHoosier

Terms of Endearment #4

Dustup (n.) -  a fight.

Hockey is known for fighting, but as far as I can tell the serious injuries occur during real play, usually when they're checked against the boards, not when the players are punching each other. I read in this article that this is because they can't get any real traction behind their punches because they're on ice.

Photo by ArtBrom

Terms of Endearment #3

Blueliner - a hockey defenseman. When the players line up at center ice, the defense guys are closer to the blue line.

I found this out because the Kings just acquired a blueliner, Keaton Ellerby, from the Florida Panthers. This is because Matt Greene and Willie Mitchell are still injured and it's hurting us. (Sorry about the pun.) Get better, boys, we need you desperately!

Photo by kezee

Terms of Endearment #1 and #2

As I mentioned earlier, the owner lockout finally ended. I am flush with excitement that about every other day I can watch my Kings play. While we won't be seeing quite as many games live at the Staples Center as I might have wanted, I still love watching the games on TV. I learn so much from the pre-game show, the commentary during the game, and the post game show. I admit that I am a new fan and have a lot to learn.

So I decided to start blogging about terms that I now understand.

1. Carryover - This, apparently, is hockey talk for a grudge. For instance, last season Dustin Brown had an altercation with another player, whose name escapes me now. So when they met on the ice a couple weeks ago, the commentators worried that there might be "carryover." Ends up there wasn't.

2. Shift - (n.) When players get on the ice to play, they play in short periods of time, usually between thirty seconds and a minute or two, called shifts.