Artist: Levi van Veluw

Happy Art Friday.

I guess I'm in a "choose strange art" mood lately. Here is a guy from the Netherlands who does only self-portraits. He works alone, and I find myself thinking about his process. He must have incredible patience, double jointed arms and lots of mirrors to do what he does.


Here is his website if you'd like to see more.

Have a great weekend!

Thursday 3: Essentials!

Here are three things I can't do without right now.

1. My datebook. If I don't write it down, forget it.

2. My electric blanket. We're trying to not using the heater as much, so I'm cold at night, and when I get into my bed which has been warmed from the electric blanket I got for Christmas, I am SO HAPPY.

3. My nail polish. I have entered a girly-girl stage. I can't wear nail polish at work, so when I have a day off, I do my nails. My current favorite color is Milani's Bella Berry.

Hot Aussies

Time for another choice. Inspired by the Oscar show, I find myself thinking of Hugh Jackman. He's Australian. That country can sure put out some hot guys. And who knew he could sing and dance? I was flabbergasted. That was a really tough number he did with Alicia Keys, all those song changes!

However, Simon Baker is another Aussie that I think is damn sexy. You might remember him as the shitheel in The Devil Wears Prada. He also starred in the TV show, "The Guardian." I have no idea if he can sing or dance, but frankly, I don't care! All he has to do is stand there and breathe. (Okay, he could kiss me or fondle me or...you get the picture.)

So, who do you prefer, Hugh Jackman or Simon Baker?

Installing a Husband

A friend sent this to me and I thought it was hilarious.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0,* NFL 3.0 and* Golf Clubs 4.1. Also, Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0. It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

Unveiling the New Blog

I decided to create a blog just for my Woman's World magazine reviews. I hope it works out. There's a voting feature where you can rate the story each week. I can categorize the stories with key words. And if people are googling Woman's World in their quest to publish with them, hopefully my insignificant site will show up.

Anyway, here's the link. There's a review there today for the story from the February 16th issue.

Artist: Lucy McRae and Bart Hess

Lucy McRae and Bart Hess describe themselves on their blogsite as "an instinctual stalking of fashion, architecture, performance and the body. They share a fascination with genetic manipulation and beauty expression."

A lot of the time artist statements like this go right over my head. I did major in art in college, but it was graphic design (logos, packaging, advertising), which was a little more "mainstream". I don't pretend to be an esoteric gal. But I know what I like when I see it even if I can't analyze why.

Still, I think these two pieces are quite interesting to look at. The first is Exploded View, the second, Exploded View Part Two.

Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday 3: Beware The Toaster

I don't have much time to blog today. Gotta write. So, here's my quickie Thursday 3.

In the United States you have a good chance of being injured by a home appliance. Shocking, I know. Good help is hard to find. Here are the top three ranking culprits:

1. Workshop manual tools 121, 676

2. Power Saws 92,547

3. Lawn Mowers 84,316

Toasters actually was #8. So, be careful out there!

Group Paralysis

I like to play pranks. I think the last real good one I played was last April first when I safety pinned all my husband's underwear together so when he was dressing in the morning, about six pairs came out of his drawer instead of one! (From the kitchen, I hear his wry reaction, "Oh, very funny." LMAO)

Anyway, this is a prank on a grand scale. I think it would have been so fun to be part of it.

I just tried to show my sons this because I thought they'd enjoy it. All I got were mocking, teenaged smiles. "Geez, Mom," says my eldest. "I've seen that a zillion times. It's on my iPod."

Sheesh.

Prosciutto-Wrapped Chicken Breasts

I made this last night and it was delish. When I make it again it will be with adjustments. (See below.)

Prosciutto-Wrapped Chicken Breasts

4 6-ounce boneless, skinless chicken breasts
Black pepper
4 slices prosciutto (I might get this from the deli case, because the package I bought had more slices than I needed.)
2 tablespoons fresh oregano, chopped (or 1 1/2 teaspoons dried)
1 tablespoon olive oil
8 cloves garlic, unpeeled (I'd use way more. We love garlic.)
1/2 cup dry white wine (optional)

Season the chicken with 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Lay the prosciutto on a cutting board or plate and sprinkle with the oregano. Lay each chicken breast on a slice of prosciutto and wrap the prosciutto around the chicken. (I never thought I'd say this, but my breasts were too big. I'd definitely make sure they were only about 3/4" thick. It took way too long to cook through.)

Heat the oil and garlic in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and cook until the prosciutto is crisp and the chicken is cooked through, 6 to 7 minutes per side.

Transfer the chicken and garlic to plates. If using the wine, add it to the skillet and simmer until reduced by half, 3 to 4 minutes. Spoon over the chicken.

Yield: Makes 4 servings

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 254; FAT 9g (sat 2g); CHOLESTEROL 105mg; CARBOHYDRATE 3g; CALORIES FROM FAT 31%; SODIUM 458mg; PROTEIN 39g; FIBER 0g; SUGAR 0g

By(e) George

It's President's Day. If you have the day off, enjoy it.

And since you have a few hours to kill, this is a cool thing to watch if you've never really examined the faces of all the American presidents. It's only a couple minutes long.

Artist: Arne Quinze

Welcome to another Friday Gallery Showing on my blog. This is a photo of Arne Quinze, an installation artist. Here, he is working on a piece called Cityscape, installed in Brussels on September 14, 2007, and I don't know if it's still there. I imagine it is. This must have taken forever to construct and probably cost beaucoup bucks, so I'm sure the city of Brussels plans to get their money's worth out of it.

I am amazed by this because it looks so random, but you know it can't be. It had to be meticulously designed or else it might collapse. This bird's eye view allows you to see how huge it is.

And I am suddenly wondering how they kept the birds from soiling it.

I know. I'm weird.


If you'd like to see more of his work, go to the Arne Quinze website, or here where I got these photos.

Have a great weekend!

Thursday 3: Valentine's Trivia

Only two more days until I Love You Day. I still haven't bought a Valentine card for The King. I think I'd better get one today before all the good ones are gone.

In the meantime, here are three little known facts about Valentine's Day that I thought were interesting.

1. In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

2. Only the U.S., Canada, Mexico, France, Australia and the U.K. celebrate Valentine's Day.

3. In the 17th century, a hopeful maiden ate a hard-boiled egg and pinned five bay leaves to her pillow before going to sleep on Valentine's eve. It was believed this would make her dream of her future husband.

What I Did for Love

I was at See's Candy this morning to buy a little something for The King. OMG. You couldn't have fit any more people into that tiny shop. There were, no lie, 15 people in line ahead of me, and that was for prepackaged candy. There was a whole other line for custom boxes.

The lady behind me had no sense of personal space, because she kept touching me every time the line moved forward. I had to keep taking a tiny step away from her after we'd settled. Sheesh! This must have happened at least seven times.

So, all I can say isThe King better appreciate his molasses chips. I do not like being stranger-bumped over and over. Bump me once; I can forgive. But after that, lady, you should, you know, get a CLUE.

Two Choices #1

It's coming up on Valentine's Day. What would you rather get...

Flowers

or

candy?

Funny Love Story

What follows is an analysis of a Woman's World story with suggestions and observations for people who want to sell stories to WW, peppered with some personal opinion, too. :) If you truly want to get the most from this weekly blog feature, it's best to have your own copy of the story to refer to. (And no, I don't get a kickback for pimping the magazine here!)

Funny Love Story by April Knight

Tagline: Emma's new neighbor had a sense of humor. She liked that in a man.

In A Nutshell: Emma is forced to hang her laundry out to dry when her washer/dryer go on the blitz. The next morning she spies her nightgown hanging in the tree. Her new neighbor helps her get it down. A few days later, they see another item of clothing up in the branches. It's a t-shirt that says, "Will you go out with me?" Of course, she does!

This was just a darn cute story. I'm a gal who appreciates a sense of humor, too, and this guy had a clever one. Emma's witty comeback is just as quick.

Woman's World Stand-bys: Emma is your typical cute, girl next door, somewhat naive and very old fashioned Woman's World heroine. I think the action that shows this the most is when she shakes her fist at her broken washing machine and says, "I lost my favorite nightgown because of you!" Also, she shyly "watched for him and hoped they'd bump into each other."

Artist: Diem Chau

TGIAF (Thank God It's Art Friday)!

You've all used crayons, I'm sure. But I'm also sure you never thought about carving them into miniature three dimensional portraits!

Aren't these amazing? This artist, Diem Chau, a refugee from Vietnam, does some lovely, clean, and simple work with dinnerware and thread that intrigues me. Go to her website to see more. But like last week, looking at art on the internet frustrates me. I feel like I'd get so much more of a grasp on it's intricacies if I could see it in person. But beggars can't be choosers.

Anyway, I wanted to display her crayon work today. I think I'd go insane if I had to carve something this tiny. My middle-aged eyes couldn't take the intense concentration this type of carving must require. On the other hand, her raw materials couldn't be cheaper. Must be nice!

If you really love this, of course you can purchase her artwork. If you really really love it, you can commission her to carve you, or someone you love. What a funky Valentine's Day present that would be!

Have a fantastic post-Super Bowl weekend!

Thursday 3: Accomplishments

Today I felt productive. Here are three things I did.

1. I went through the pile of junk to deal with, which included a few days worth of mail, various coupons, papers from the junior high and high school, tax forms, a check, and magazines to distribute either to Mr. T (aka dh), my sons, or my TBR pile.

2. I sent my entries and fees to Passionate Ink for their Passionate Plume contest. However, I'm not sure I'm going to DC for the RWA conference. *sighs*

3. I made a pot of split pea soup from scratch. It turned out yummy!

Fishy Fishy

My betta fish died last week. I had him for several years, but I knew he was getting old because he wasn't eating regularly and was more sluggish than beta fish usually are. Nor did he make bubble nests anymore.

I now have a new betta. His name is Chow. (The old fish never really had a name.) He's pretty feisty and is a beautiful comination of red and blue. He is luxuriating in the old bowl, but with new, living plants, instead of plastic ones. He must like it in his new digs, because he has made a bubble nest. I think that's a hint he wants to be a Player. His little cup was next to several female bettas at the PetCo, but I think he's doomed to lifelong bachelorhood.

And yesterday's actor was Kevin Spacey. I just love his voice. It's so distinctive.

Name That Actor #3

Below are four roles played by the same actor. Who is it?

Professor Micky Rosa (2008)
Lex Luthor (2006)
David Gale (2003)
Hopper (1998)

If you need a hint, the movies are: 21, Superman Returns, The Life of David Gale, and A Bug's Life.

Cold Feet, Warm Heart

What follows is an analysis of a Woman's World story with suggestions and observations for people who want to sell stories to WW, peppered with some personal opinion, too. :) If you truly want to get the most from this weekly blog feature, it's best to have your own copy of the story to refer to. (And no, I don't get a kickback for pimping the magazine here!)

Cold Feet, Warm Heart by Tessa Ireland
January 26, 2009 issue

Tagline: Anne wasn't even looking for Prince Charming when he unexpectedly arrived on the scene.

In A Nutshell: Anne loses her shoe at the movie theater. The manager helps her look for it, to no avail. Since it's raining and she took the bus, he insists on driving her home. The next day, he shows up with her shoe, two movie tickets, and a request for a date.

Teaching Points: The story occurs in the traditional three acts. Act 1: We find out what Anne's problem is and she meets the hero.

Act 2: He is driving her home and we find out the backstory. He's a widower, she moved back home to take care of her ailing mother.

In Act 3, everything wraps up nicely. We even get an explanation as to why they couldn't find her shoe--something I'll admit I was wondering, too. How the heck could it have disappeared? There's also a cute surprise in the form of the movie tickets.

WW stories always end happily, and usually with a date, not a wedding. However, I have seen a nuptial ceremony or two on the pages of Woman's World, so don't be afraid to give that a try.

In My Humble Opinion: I've seen Cinderella WW stories before, and this one was cute, original, and believable.